You Do Not Belong Here

I’ve worn your shame
a long,
loooong
time.

It cut into my shoulders,
stretched tight across my back,
and caved imy chest
so my breaths came in and out
as tiny puffs
of wretchedness.

Your criticism colored my face
a darker shade of brown
so you could hate it more,
blame it more,
see me as a monster of the night
instead of
a child of the light.

The lash of your tongue
and the beat of your
pious and
punishing drum
became the soundtrack of my
off track life.

Until I realized,
this is my life.

And you do not belong here.

Years I’ve spent
unraveling
the mangled mess
of your twisted mind,
extricating
myself from
your parasitic
embrace.

And as I’ve stripped myself
of all you want to think I am
or ought to be…

I found freedom.

I found breath.

I found a new home.

And you do not belong here.

Dear Grief

Dear Grief,
Please don’t take me
to the dungeons beneath your throne.
Don’t make me call your darkness
my new home.

I
love the warmth of sunlight,
scents of blossoming spring air.
I beg you let me find my
way back there.

Don’t
make me your prisoner.
In your caves I cannot breathe.
My soul was meant to soar, please
set me free.

Or
chain me by my ankle
and I’ll rest within the trees.
Let me think I’m free, even if it’s
make-believe.

All Grown Up

How long did I long to please you?
But my wounds were never your blame.
It was the sins of the mother
on the mother
on the mother
’til the daughter became the slave.

How many days did I wake without you?
To a home devoid of care.
No arms to welcome me
No ears to hear me
No signs you had ever been there.

How long did you struggle with hating me?
For binding you to the man who
Forced upon you a child
The fetus inside
Who survived past the drugs you consumed.

How long will I live to mourn you?
And the life you and I’ll never see.
You hearing my fears
You sharing my tears
Meeting the woman I’m meant to be.

When did I grow up without you?
I’m leaving you behind, I know.
But your name is not mine
My heart is divine
And the light in my eyes is my own.